Google Launches 'The Google' For Older Adults

"MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — The popular search engine Google announced plans Friday to launch a new site, TheGoogle.com, to appeal to older adults not able to navigate the original website’s single text field and two clearly marked buttons.

‘The Google will have all the same information currently found on regular Google, but with the added features of not stealing your credit-card numbers or giving your computer all kinds of viruses,’ said Rick Tillich, The Google project director. ‘All you have to do to turn the website on is put the little blinking line thing in the cyberspace window at the top of the screen, type ‘thegoogle.com,’ and press ‘return’—although it will also recognize http.wwwthegoogle.com, google.aol, and ‘THEGOOGLE’ typed into a Word document.’

Tillich added that he hopes the site will soon replace Yahoo Internet Website.com as the most popular search engine for users over 55."

This "article" from The Onion‘s Already Obsolete Tech Issue from January 1st, 2009 (Volume 45 Issue 01) cracked me up.